How long should you date for before Marriage

Whether you’ve been officially dating “the one” for a few months or the better part of the last decade, you might be wondering how you’ll know when you’ve entered the “sweet spot,” that is the right time to get engaged.

When folks on your Facebook feed start flaunting a diamond ring after seeing someone for under a year, while high school sweethearts you know stay ringless for decades, it’s no surprise you’re confused. And experts agree that there is no magic number. “There are some couples who know on the first date that they’ve found the one and get engaged quickly, while others take the time to get to know someone well before putting a ring on it,” says online dating expert and digital matchmaker Julie Spira.

Spira is of the opinion, however, that a couple should go through all seasons together at the very least so that they surpass the honeymoon stage before determining whether or not to stay together for life. “Everyone puts their best foot forward during the courting stage, which is typically the first three months of the relationship,” she says. “When your relationship is brand new, you haven’t gone through the bumps on the road together, traveled on vacation together, or gone through a traumatic event such as the death of a family member or loss of a job.”

Spira is of the opinion, however, that a couple should go through all seasons together at the very least so that they surpass the honeymoon stage before determining whether or not to stay together for life. “Everyone puts their best foot forward during the courting stage, which is typically the first three months of the relationship,” she says. “When your relationship is brand new, you haven’t gone through the bumps on the road together, traveled on vacation together, or gone through a traumatic event such as the death of a family member or loss of a job.”

Dawn Michael, Ph.D., clinical sexologist, relationship expert, and author of My Husband Won't Have Sex With Me, takes things one step further, adding that the more time a couple gets to know each other before marriage is key to having a lasting union. “Each couple is different depending on age and circumstances, but a reasonable amount of time to be engaged is one to three years,” she says.

Each couple is different depending on age and circumstances, but a reasonable amount of time to be engaged is one to three years.

Research supports this theory. One study published by researchers at Emory University in Atlanta found that couples who’d been together at least three years before they got engaged were 39 percent less likely to get divorced than couples who got engaged within the first year of dating.

Clearly, time is on a couple’s side when it comes to the longevity of their marriage. But experts agree, there’s more to a happy marriage than just years spent side-by-side. Here, they share the most fundamental aspects of a relationship that matter the most when determining whether a future marriage will last.