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Why aren't more women honest about pregnancy?

I am an academic, which means that I often try to make decisions in my personal life by gathering as much information about the topic as possible. I have waffled about having children for the better part of a decade. A large part of my waffling is that getting a complete, straight answer from women I trust about pregnancy and childbirth is damn near impossible. I like to think I've done a decent amount of reading on the subject, but I continue to come across wild, random things. Today's discovery is perineal massage. What the actual fuck is that and how has NO ONE mentioned this prior?

Why is it so difficult to tell other women about this? Why do the women I talk to gloss over the entire process like its a piece of cake? Do women wait until you're pregnant to tell you you'll have to set aside time to lube up your fingers, stick them in your vagina, and "massage" every other day for a month and a half??? We talk about sex education being shit, but honestly the complete and utter lack of education or even knowledge sharing around pregnancy and childbirth is abhorrent (at least in the US, I don't know about other places)

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