HOW TO IDENTIFY RED FLAGS IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's so exciting building a relationship with someone new, but how can you be sure they're going to treat you right? We know it's a little scary trying to figure out if you're with the right person, but it's important to catch any red flags early on so you can address them. Luckily, we're here to help you through it. This article lists some potential warning signs that you shouldn't ignore.
They don’t communicate.
Your partner should be able to openly talk about how they’re feeling.[1] It’s so important to share your emotions with your partner because it helps you build a really strong foundation for your relationship. If your partner stays quiet when you try expressing yourself or if they refuse to talk about themselves at all, it might be tougher to grow close with them.
For example, if you try to talk about how you’re feeling in the relationship and they immediately change the subject, it may be a sign they aren’t able to communicate.
They’re not able to compromise.
It’s important to resolve conflicts in a healthy relationship. Usually when you have an argument, you can work together with your partner to come up with a solution that works for both of you. In an unhealthy relationship, your partner may already have their mind made up so they won’t listen to your concerns or even talk about the issue.
They get jealous or insecure when you’re away.
Your partner should accept that you can do what you want. In a healthy relationship, you’ll be able to make the most out of the time you spend together. If you’re actively seeing your partner and they still get upset that you’re not spending time with them, then it may be a sign that they want to be more in control. They may also always ask where you were or what you were doing.
They act disrespectful.
Your partner should treat everyone respectfully. You deserve to feel respected and valued in your relationship. While it’s normal for someone to slip up every now and then, it becomes an issue if your partner repeatedly makes you feel bad or hurts your feelings. Pay attention to how they interact with other people too since it may be easier for you to notice when they’re disrespectful.
A common warning sign to look out for is if your partner actively tries to embarrass or humiliate you in front of other people.
They constantly criticize you.
Your partner should be uplifting and boosting your confidence. It’s okay for you to make mistakes from time to time, but your partner shouldn’t make you feel any worse. They may be more harsh than usual or disapprove of things you’ve done. When your partner criticizes you, they’re trying to feel in control, but it adds a lot of unneeded and undeserved stress onto you too. For example, they may say something like, "Are you really going to wear that tonight?" or "That was a really stupid idea."
They’re dependent on you.
You should each have some independence in a relationship. Your partner should have their own friends, goals, and hobbies outside of the relationship – and so should you! When your partner is dependent on you, they may try to latch onto your other relationships or feel like they can’t do anything without you.
For example, if your partner only hangs out with you and your friends, it might be a red flag.
In really serious cases, your partner may even threaten to do something drastic if the relationship ends. If this happens, reach out to someone you trust for advice and to talk about your situation.
They try to control the relationship.
You and your partner should work together to build your relationship. In a healthy relationship, you both can share responsibilities to help strengthen your bond. When your partner starts making all the decisions, then it could be a sign they want full control. They may even go as far as telling you what you’re able to do, what you can wear, and who you can hang out with, but you should make those choices on your own.
They don’t respect your online privacy.
Your partner should trust you without having to check on you. It’s completely normal for you to keep your online passwords to yourself so you have full control over your accounts. Someone who’s trying to be controlling may constantly check your social media pages, ask for your passwords, or even read through your texts and emails to see if you’ve been talking to anyone else.
For example, if your partner asks why you were messaging a specific person, it could mean that they looked through your phone or social media.
You could try changing one of your social media passwords or logging out completely. If your partner brings it up, it may be a sign they were trying to check up on you.
They break your trust multiple times.
Your partner should tell the truth and avoid doing things behind your back. Relationships are built on trusting the other person, so it can be really concerning if you catch your partner in a lie. Everyone slips up every now and then, but it shouldn’t be a regular thing in your relationship. Keep your eye out for any patterns of lying or hiding the truth from you since it could grow to a larger issue.
They easily lose their temper.
Your partner can get upset, but they should keep it under control. Everyone gets mad from time to time, but it’s a lot scarier if you can’t predict when or why. If you’re walking on eggshells because you aren’t sure what will upset your partner, then it’s a sign of a problem. You shouldn’t have to deal with any yelling, shouting, or any other outbursts just because they’re upset.
For example, if you do something minor, like spilling a drink on the floor, your partner may start raising their voice or damage something in your home when they’re angry.